Why couldn't high school math be as fun as this?
What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K is 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
B-U-L-L-*-H-I-T is 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far as* kissing will take you.
A-S-*-K-I-S-S-I-N-G is 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bull*hit and A*s kissing that will put you over the top.
And then again, there's this:
Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a bull
“I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey.
"But I haven’t got the energy.”
“Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bull$hit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.
Your mileage may wary. Apply wisely.
Speaking of milage or lack thereof, a bunch of Jedi Knights using the power of the force on unsuspecting suburbanites. This could be better if they actually pretended to be dragged by the car but it'll do.
I need a better way to spend my free time ….